Goodwill message to future donor-conceived families

  1.  Natalie Nalon

    Hello ladies, I’m from Salisbury, Wiltshire, England and am currently planning to donate my eggs. I’ve already visited various fertility clinics and all of them have showed me that when you donate your eggs here in the UK you have to write a goodwill message for the unborn child to read it once s/he reaches the legal age. The problem is, I’ve never been very good at writing, so I don’t know what to say. Some clinics say they can help me elaborate my sketch, but in the end it’s me that has to be creative and honest to that person. Do you know or have heard of some clinics which do not ask for this requirement? If not, could someone kindly please give me some ideas to write my message? Guessing if I have a pattern it’ll be easier. Cheers!

    May 14, 2016 at 10:28 am
    #9454 Reply
  2. Sandra F. Sandra F.
    inviTRA's Moderator

    Hello Natalie,

    Yes, when you register as an egg donor in the UK, your fertility clinic will ask you to give information on yourself, including a personal description and a goodwill message for the donor-conceived child or children born as a result from your donation. The purpose of goodwill messages is to let the intended parents and any children born from your donation know more about you as a person.

    Firstly, as for your personal description, it should give the person who reads it a feel for you as a person, so you’d better use an intimate tone when writing it. It is helpful not only for the donor-conceived child, but also for the potential parents to get an idea of who you are like as a person. It can be useful too when the moment they’ll explain their child s/he was conceived by egg donation arrives.

    So, when writing your description, try to ask yourself the following: how would you describe yourself in a few words? Or how do you think your best friend would describe you? How would you describe what you look like and your personality? A general description about your family, or talking about your earliest memory, what you enjoyed most or least at school, as well as what do you do in life, are crucual aspects for an egg donor personal description. Hobbies, what would be your ideal holiday, if you like music or have pets, passions or aspirations… All these aspects should appear on this kind of texts.

    Secondly, as for your goodwill message, keep in mind above all that it is a PERSONAL message for any children born from your donation. I highlight the word “personal” because this means there is not a minimum or maximum word count: it can be short and sweet, or more detailed and long because you prefer to share your hopes, thoughts, ideas, tips, words of wisdom… The goal is to convey a sense of you as a person.

    What you have to bear in mind is that your personal description is intended for donor conception parents, while the goodwill message is designed for the child(en) born as a result of your donation, although it can be read by the patients, too. The child won’t be given your name and goodwill message up until they turn 18. Your identity won’t be revealed, so you don’t have to include specific information such as places, full names of people, addresses, etc., as the clinic’s staff will remove it.

    The following link may be of interest: Dos and don’ts for writing my egg donor goodwill message?

    I hope I have been able to help,

    Best regards

    May 16, 2016 at 10:42 am
    #9456 Reply
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