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Surrogate mother and intended parent relationship

  1.  Jordan

    Hello, my name is Jordan and I’m considering becoming a daddy via surrogacy. I’m not gay, I just haven’t met the ideal women for me and I really wish to have a child. I would like to build a relationship with the woman who is going to carry my baby to term… all in all, she’s the one who is going to give me that present, isn’t she? This is so special for me that cannot be expressed with words… Do you know if there is any chance that I can met her or keep in touch with her? Does it vary depending on the country or how does it work? S.O.S.

    March 1, 2016 at 8:09 am
    #8842 Reply
  2. Sandra F. Sandra F.
    inviTRA's Moderator

    Dear Jordan,

    in principle, in the United States and Canada, both countries allowing surrogacy for single men and gay couples, intended parents must choose the donor and agree to “work” with that woman, and the same the other way about (the surrogate must agree to be the gestational carrier of that patient or patients). This means that, if you choose the USA or Canada to undergo surrogacy, you will have no choice but to met your surrogate.

    The type of relationship they want to build is in the hands of both parties. As a matter of fact, you will have a personal interview with your prospective surrogate; there, you could tell her what are your intentions and ask her if she agrees to do so. My advice is that you make things clear enough at the very beginning in order to avoid possible misunderstandings once the baby is born.

    I hope I have been able to help,


    March 18, 2016 at 12:55 pm
    #8843 Reply
  3. I wish you the best and good luck in finding your perfect surrogate mother!
    Unfortunately as I know the surrogacy in lots of countries is forbidden for a single man or a woman. as it is where my dh and I got our kids. I think that it is very important to know who your surrogate will be and what her characteristics are. Unfortunately we haven’t had the chance to meet her before the treatment started but we were really really lucky that the clinic had matched her in 2 months so we commenced the program like in 2 months after our initial consultation. We agreed to only meet the surrogate mother when she is on her 12 weeks. And when we had a chance to meet her we had so much pleasure to discover that our babies will be carried by such a nice woman. We are so lucky after we decided to opt for the surrogacy. We have given her cards ad letters that were kindly translated to her language bby the interpreter. I am happy that we got her to be our surrogate.

    October 6, 2016 at 9:32 am
    #10298 Reply
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