What’s killing my libido? I’ve lost my sex drive

  1.  Shay green

    Hello ladies, and doctor, can you help me out? Well, my DH and I are Ttc and it’s been 6 months already since we started. At first my libido was on fire, but after several months Ttc I’ve become a little bit disappointed mainly because the idea that maybe one of us is infertile is killing me. I know he hasn’t thought about it yet, he’s happily trying and hopes one day I share the big news with him, but we’re 32 years old and I know it becomes harder over time… Pls, can anyone tell me how can I revive my sex drive? At least I hope we can continue Ttc for a year and then God knows…

    April 29, 2016 at 10:57 am
    #9322 Reply
  2. Sandra F. Sandra F.
    inviTRA's Moderator

    Dear Shay,

    The are many causes that can lead both women and men to a loss or lack of libido. Over time, we go through different situations in life that make us experience changes in our libido, without it meaning that you’ve lost it completely. Recovering it is easy in most cases if the cause is found.

    The most common cause of low sex drive is stress, and in your case I think it’s highly likely that it’s the cause behind your loss of libido. Trying to conceive may become hard sometimes, and given your age, my advice is that you visit a fertility specialist to have it checked. You can easily become pregnant through a fertility treatment such as IUI or IVF, depending on the case. Stress may come from other areas of your life such as your job, finances, family obligations… Relaxation techniques, breathing exercises, and other everyday stress busters may be helpful, but trying not to become obsessed with achieving pregnancy is the most important.

    Food also can have an impact on your libido, especially certain foods, such as those containing cholesterol (red meats, high-fat dairy…). High cholesterol can cause clogged arteries and reduced blood flow to many parts of your body. Doing some sports has also been proven to be beneficial for increasing an individual’s sex drive. Keep in mind and intercourse is a sport, and as so, it requires cardio and muscular endurance. It also increases blood flow throughout the body, something that in turn increases sexual response in the vagina and clitoris.

    Also if you’re experiencing relationship problems, including a lack of communication now that you’re TTC, your libido may decrease. Emotional closeness, respect, confidence, and appreciation are crucial elements when it comes to sexual intimacy. Thus, a breast of trust can have an impact on sexual desire. Open and honest communication is a key factor in this very moment not only to boost your sex drive, but also to strengthen your relationship.

    Other causes of low sex drive may be:

    -Sleeping issues (e.g. sleeping less than 8 hours every day)
    -Medications (birth control methods, antidepressants, blood pressure medications, anti-seizure medications…)
    -Depression itself (regardless of whether you’re taking antidepressants or not)
    -Early menopause
    -Other physical sexual dysfunctions

    My advice is that you get help from an expert like a sex therapist or a counselor, or just make an appointment with your doctor to help address this problem.

    And remember: feeling good about yourself starts with you 🙂

    I hope I have been able to help,

    Best wishes

    May 3, 2016 at 9:47 am
    #9324 Reply