Emotional support for multiple IVF fails

Hi everyone:
My first time on here, I am struggling significantly after failing IVF for the 3rd time. I’m almost 38, have gained 30lbs, and am an emotional wreck throughout this experience. As you all must experience I desperately want a baby and feel like I am a failure as a woman because I can’t seem to conceive. The worst part is no one seems to know why. My fallopian tubes had blockages in it which I needed surgery for and that’s when they determined normal pregnancy wouldn’t work for me because of my tubes, so we were referred for IVF. I take extremely high doses of the hormones to produce eggs but I get 7-9 good ones each time with a fertilization of anywhere from 4-7. They’ve implanted 1-2 each time good quality embryos, however, I fail to implant each time. Most of my friends conceive without even trying so it’s difficult to discuss this with others. I’m so overwhelmed, frustrated, and scared and I don’t now what I should do. Does anyone have any recommendations on how to manage the emotional journey and physical toll this takes on us? Thanks for listening and sharing…

Dear laurieab,

Repeated implantation failure can be due to a number of causes, which can be associated with embryos, endometrial receptivity, or systemic causes. It can be treated in many ways, before turning to third-party reproduction. I don’t know if you’ve tried with PGD (too see if it is due to genetic abnormalities), assisted hatching, or have taken an ERA (Endometrial Receptivity Analysis), but if not, it may be interesting that you tell your doctor about them.

In case none of them have led to successful outcomes, perhaps it is time for you to move on to egg donation. This option usually works for patients when their endometrial lining and uterus are normal, and the problem is linked to poor egg quality (which leads to poor embryo quality). Read more: What’s Being an Egg Donor Recipient Like? – Preparation & Process.

Finally, when repeated implantation failure is due to unexplained causes and even egg donation leads to failure, surrogacy can be the best option to start a family. More on this story: What Is Surrogacy & How Does It Work? – Everything You Should Know.

Recommended for you: Repeated Implantation Failure – Reasons Why Embryos Don’t Implant.

I hope I have been able to help,

Best wishes

Hi, laurieab! I’m so sorry you’re facing this roller coaster. I know how hard it is not to be able to share with people around as they are more likely no understand..All my friends got prego in a quick succession. Almost all of them have 2+ kids now when I’m hardly after de ivf with my#1!! But the most destroying thing for me was once being asked by the friend whether she’d better do abortion ’cause her relationship was unstable..I was going insane people were so lucky to fall prego and not wanting to carry a little one! How could this ever be?? I’m sharing my story with you. I’m 39 yrs old. Had 2 cycles ivf with ex. He had low sperm quality. My right ovary never responded to treatments. My last AMH came in 3%. Besides weight 12 stone 7 lbs wasn’t the best to go further with. We went abroad for donor egg cycle once said own eggs were not likely going to work at all. And here’s what we got with the cycles. Our previous 2 — 2 of embies were rated high but neither of them stuck. With my last de transfer#1 we got B grade 2 5day blasts and got prego. The toughest thing is though you never know what to expect with treatments. Noone can rule over things. I’m praying you find your heart peace soon and keep on with going for another try. Everyone’s path is different. Stay strong, honey!!

PGD is definitely useful in detecting possible problems. The biggest wish of every parent is to have a healthy baby. Thanks to determining the genetic equipment of embryos problems can be detected in time. Then only healthy embryos that have potential of a successful pregnancy are transferred into the uterus. Genetic abnormalities are a frequent cause of early miscarriages in the first third of the pregnancy. PGD helps to prevent these losses. PGD is suitable if one or both partners have a genetically conditioned disorder in the family.
PGS is opted by parents who are healthy. They order it preventively. Often these are cases in which previous IVF failed. The analysis reveals most of the problems. Thanks to this analysis you will significantly reduce the risk of a miscarriage or giving birth to a sick child. However not even PGD / PGS are able to detect everything! And the results of the genetic tests are not 100% right. This is for several reasons. Discuss with your dr. Hope this helps. Take care!

If you will be considering doing PGD, make certain the laboratory is experienced. Whether it does a large number of cases and is certified. Ask your doctor at the IVF clinic or the lab director the following questions: What training has the PGD laboratory personnel who are performing the testing have? How long have they been doing the procedure? When will you get the results of the PGD? What will happen if all the embryos are genetically abnormal? What the clinic’s success rate is for frozen embryo transfer following embryo biopsy? Hope this helps.

Oh god, that’s tough. Poor thing you’ve gone through so much..Unfortunately no one, often even a Dr, can tell you exactly why your embie failed to implant. There are so many reasons which can provoke it!! Almost always Dr is not capable to state the accurate reason why..This pains I know. We all are trying to do our best in dreadful 2ww. We look for tips to “help” our wee beans survive. And unless your doctor has specifically told you to for some medical reason, spending your 2ww on bed rest sounds like a first class ticket to crazy town. I would have gone absolutely mad! My clinic told me to continue life as normal. So that is exactly what I did. Continued with work. Granted I have a desk job. And continued with exercising including yoga. Although carefully due to possibility of twisted ovaries. The only thing I did differently was eat a whole pineapple over the first few days. Also did a daily fertility meditation from youtube. I was lucky enough to get my BFP that validates this approach I think. Ultimately, I think the best thing you can do during this time is try not to stress. Do whatever you need to help you with that. And hope, always hope for better.