Hi all, am Maria from Iran. I am on my third year of marriage. We have been trying to get a child but nothing has ever happen. We have gone for various check up, got some treatment and nothing has ever changed. The reason that has made me to post this story of mine is because of my lovely husband. He has been very supportive to me. But as we have tried and everything has failed he is giving up. I don’t want to think how life will be without him.He mean everything to me. I am willing to do anything to make sure that I get him a son. What about IVF? How long should I wait before having this process done? I wish to learn from you. Any lead will be highly appreciated.01/13/2018 at 11:27 am
In most of the cases, relationship problems associated with infertility issues are due to the fact that both members of the couple are unprepared for it. While usually women react by completely fixating on conceiving, men tend to assume that something is wrong with their partner.
For this reason, most men tend to “help” and “fix” the problem as best they can by just telling her that everything will be OK in the end, but sometimes this is not enough and is even counterproductive: the woman feels even more emotionally isolated.
What both partners should understand is that it is nobody’s fault, and that now more than ever support is necessary in both cases. Taking that into account, you can turn to professional help if you consider it necessary. Anyways, each situation is different, as it is each marriage.
I hope I have been able to help,
Best01/15/2018 at 10:23 am
Hi Maria from Iran. Please don’t be desperate. Since you belong to a very historical region. Let me give you some piece of advice. The things that we so badly want Sometimes they tease us by staying away. Our wants, wishes and desires… They never seem to fulfill. As if we are, all of us, cursed. That cannot be true, right? It may be so that the thing that we want is not good for us. Universe is carrying on for so long. Humans will come and die. Why spend our time worrying over things we are not in control? The baby will find your belly when God has decreed. In fact, it can happen now. Have you thought of alternatives to natural pregnancy? Such as surrogacy. I wish you lead a peaceful life.. Love xx01/28/2018 at 4:46 pm
I would say No, infertility doesn’t lead to divorce.
They are many advanced medical services like IVF, surrogacy where you can have your own baby.
One should consult an Infertility specialist and take appropriate treatment.01/31/2018 at 12:11 pm
Hi Maria! I am so sorry to hear about what you have been through. I hope you have had all your tests done to declare you infertile. What are the chances that the problem may be in your husband? Not being able to give birth to a child shouldn’t be the reason for divorce. I would recommend you to take second opinion from some other doctor and both of you should do all your tests. If you have limited time left you can either opt for IVF or surrogacy. I hope you will be able to give birth to a child and your marriage be saved02/05/2018 at 2:07 pm
well hey, Maria. I hope you are doing well. Infertility can be especially hard to cope with for married couples. I am an infertile woman and have been dealing with infertility for almost a year. In my case, I lost my child in an accident also due to which I had to go through hysteroscopy. The process left me completely infertile. As far as my marriage is concerned it is still happy. My husband is the most supportive man I have ever seen in my life, I have seen nothing but love and support from him on this issue. In-laws can, however, be a completely different story, they expect you to work like a machine and provide you with children on their demand, and yes they can put a lot of stress on any marriage. My advice to you would talk openly to your husband about it and let him know about all the options that are there. I am sure he will understand. Take care sister and much love. I hope your marriage remains for a hundred years.02/05/2018 at 5:00 pm
Hey Maria! Hope you are doing well.
Sorry to hear about your failures. Can you tell what tests did you take? What treatments you tried?
As you have mentioned your husband was supportive. He is still supportive. He is just going through some stress. Try to understand him. Try to spend time with him.
Infertility, in this modern world doesn’t lead to divorce. As there are many other options to have a baby.
You won’t have to live without him. Stay clam. 🙂
Baby dust on you. 🙂02/07/2018 at 7:47 pm
I am feeling really sorry for you. Just wait for the right moment, you can conceive naturally. Good to read about your husband that he is very supportive. Every woman wants to have a baby in her life. And many women are facing infertility problems, you are not the only one in this world. IVF is a common process for those who are trying to conceive but not getting proper results. I am also having infertility problems from the past 7 years. I am still trying my best level to conceive. And finding the best possible solutions to have a baby through surrogacy or IVF. I wish you have safe treatment. Best of luck to you and your husband. Please do proper research to find the best clinic for yourself. You are very lucky you have just started to conceive. You have all the time in this world.02/08/2018 at 6:22 am
Hi, ladies! This is my first post here. Just couldn’t but post here as well. We passed 2 cycles ivf with my ex partner. And they told my right ovary never responded to treatment. The story with my ex was different. He was strongly advised to cut out alcohol and start taking vitamins. Actually he did, so that his sperm motility became a bit better. BUT I never saw him super supportive. He was doing it not for me, for us. I feel like he wanted to better his health conditions and not fulfill the family. I guess my ex simply thought why should he struggle together with a woman if he can find another one, young and healthy with no fertility issues. Well, I may be mistaken, as we can’t read thoughts. But anyway this is the thing from the past. And I do believe Infertility influences the relations. I also put so much hope onto my new partner. Let this time be our rainbow..03/07/2018 at 12:43 pm
Hi Maria, I am so sorry to hear about your story.It reminds me of times a close one was facing the same dilemma. My best friend TTC for 7 years of her marriage. After that, her MIL forced his son to take a decision of either leaving my friend or getting married again. She was devasted. Her husband was the only family she had. My heart cried seeing her condition and that is why I can understand your pain too.She went into depression and suffered high function anxiety. My pen pal from Indonesia then recommended me to ask my friend to opt for other options. The MIL obviously wasn’t ready for adoption. So they decided to go for surrogacy. That was a game changer. Today she is very happy and satisfied. She had twins via surrogacy. My advice to you would be to go for other options and do not forget to look for surrogacy. Best of luck.03/20/2018 at 5:42 pm
hey! Hope you are doing good.
Firstly let me tell you, the subject of this discussion dragged me over here. But glad to read that your relationship is safe and sound. I don’t want to disappoint you or make you feel worried about your relationship but yes this happens, infertility may lead to divorce unless your husband is supportive enough to be by your side no matter what difficulties life might throw at you. And for the answer of your question, two years of being TTC is enough to consult your doctor for IVF. You should consult any fertility clinic and get all the necessary tests done. That would help you make the appropriate decision of whether to go for IVF or not. And if you are healthy and lucky enough then you will be able to conceive soon.03/20/2018 at 7:22 pm
Hi Maria, how are you? I am sorry for your situation but unfortunately, countries like Iran, India, etc are still under such beliefs. Women usually suffer from infertility because husbands don’t understand that it’s not anyone’s fault. I understand that you feel that your marriage is at risk because of this. Please go for surrogacy as I suggest. I have a daughter through surrogacy procedure, and I think 3 years is enough time and you can go for it now. Through surrogacy, the baby will be biologically related to either both of you or at least to your husband.03/20/2018 at 7:41 pm
There must be some indications for going for surrogacy. For example, a woman had a hysterectomy that removed her uterus. Or she has uterus which cannot carry a pregnancy. Or conditions that make pregnancy impossible or risky for you, such as severe heart disease. Or multiple ivf failures. This is not that easy to come to a place and say ”we want surrogacy”. Too many facts underlying here. In my clinic for example, dr will want a woman to show a dr’s certificate saying she cannot carry pregnancy herself. This is one of the demands. But on the whole, surrogacy is a nice option to count on.08/15/2018 at 1:22 pm
Hey Maria, I understand what brings you this thought, relationships are unpredictable, they often work for years and some work few months. I have seen people divorcing after very few weeks of their marriage and some support each other for a year and maintains a healthy relationship with or without kids. I would say that kids are essential but they don’t predict how strong your relationship would be. Have you tried PGD? I would suggest you see a good Ob/gyn who would diagnose the cause of your infertility. If you’re below 40 then your chances of infertility increases I mean not to worry you, but women and men tend to develop certain issues with age. Some can be treated some results in zero chances of conceiving naturally. IVF is a good option. Many couples today choose it to become parents of their biological child without having to carry it. It is effective for couples over 35 of age. But you need to make sure the surrogate mother well cares during the process and the doctors have to be skilled with advance ART. I recommend you to search for few places who carry out successful IVF treatments. I am looking into my options of having IVF next month. I know, surrogacy is no joke, its expensive in many countries weigh your options according to your budget. There is always a way out of any difficulty. Talk with your partner, plan a holiday. Try to be calm and stay away from stress especially when TTC. I wish you luck!!03/21/2018 at 2:30 pm
Now concerning pgd/pgs testings. Thanks to determining the genetic equipment of embryos problems can be detected in time. Then only healthy embryos that have potential of a successful pregnancy are transferred into the uterus. Genetic abnormalities are a frequent cause of early miscarriages in the first third of the pregnancy. PGD helps to prevent these losses. PGD is suitable if one or both partners have a genetically conditioned disorder in the family. PGS is opted by parents who are healthy. They order it preventively. Often these are cases in which previous IVF failed. The analysis reveals most of the problems. Thanks to this analysis you will significantly reduce the risk of a miscarriage or giving birth to a sick child. However not even PGD / PGS are able to detect everything! And the results of the genetic tests are not 100% right. So those options are better to be discussed with dr. He’ll advise the best.08/15/2018 at 1:25 pm
Hey, dear, my sympathy is with you. Every couple wants a baby who could make their relationship more beautiful. You are good too as you kept on trying. I suggest you to go for IUI instead of IVF. Try to convince your DH. I’m sure he will agree with you. Success chances in IVF are about 10 to 20 percent. While I have read many people sharing their IUI success stories in this forum. Now up to you!03/24/2018 at 3:48 pm
Iui is good for patients with male issues. Semen low quality or quantity. In this way they’ll collect your dh’s sperm, wash it and push it directly into you. If your dh has any of these problems here are a couple of things to try. Furthermore those are science-backed ways to boost sperm count and increase fertility in men. Taking D-Aspartic Acid supplements. Exercising regularly. Getting enough vitamin C. Relaxing and minimizing stress. Getting enough vitamin D. Trying Tribulus Terrestris. Taking Fenugreek Supplements. Getting enough Zinc.
Hope this helps.08/15/2018 at 1:32 pm
look ironica! first of all, if your husband is loving, it means he won’t leave you because of infertility. so don’t worry about it dear. IVF is the best alternate of pregnancy. I would definitely recommend you the same. if you have any doubt you can consult with your doctor. don’t take the stress. good luck dear.03/24/2018 at 8:02 pm
Infertility can lead to divorce. I know it from my own experience. I was 39 yrs old when we first opted for ivf with my ex. Previously ttc for 1.5 yrs with no luck. Tests showed he had low sperm quality. Me – nothing wrong then except some of the extra lbs. So we knew the reasons. I began improving my situation with healthy fertility dieting, doing sports, trying acupuncture. Dr advised taking some of the supplements and vitamins. Seems I had my way just right and was working hard. And guess what did my ex do? NOTHING. He told he was not going to change his life flow, he feels satisfied with it. He hated sports so was not going to do exercises to keep fit. He didn’t want to listen he needed changes in his eating habits. He said he felt completely at comfort with all this. And if ivf didn’t work out for us – then probably we were not meant to have kids simply. This drove me mad and furious and destroyed. I told I wish I’d never met him, he left me the same evening. Later I got to know he was planning to do this as had a younger chick for substitution.. I think this is infertility and damn human’s nature not willing to see other people’s grief and egoism. And yes, we divorced in 3 months after the episode.08/15/2018 at 1:07 pm
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