Having a child at 40 via IVF or Surrogacy?

  1. Amily
    Amily

    Hello, forum visitors! My name is Amily and I am new in here.
    I need your advice. You know, unfortunately, I can’t have my own children and I am 40. I’ve talked to my husband about this problem. He tries to support me and says that we can make our family completed. We decided that our problem can be solved in two ways. First of them is IVF. The second one – surrogacy. But we cannot decide which would be better for us. Maybe someone have turned to surrogacy or IVF and can tell me more about it? I want to collect some information that can help us to make the right decision. So, if somebody can help me, please give me some advice. Thanks a lot.

    11/28/2017 at 11:03 pm
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  2. Hello amily,

    Thanks for your thread. Well, first of all, let me tell you the difference between IVF and surrogacy, so that you can understand why it’s not a matter of choice or preference.

    IVF stands for “in vitro fertilization”, which is an infertility treatment whereby the oocytes of the woman are retrieved by means of follicle puncture, and then fertilized in the laboratory. The resulting embryos are then transferred back to her uterus, which will hopefully implant and give rise to a new baby. See also: What is In Vitro Fertilization?

    As for surrogacy, it is a type of third-party reproduction whereby a third-party (referred to as “gestational carrier”) carries a baby for someone else (referred to as “intended parent” or “intended parents”). For her to carry their child, IVF is needed. The difference between IVF surrogacy and classical IVF lies in the Embryo Transfer (ET) procedure: In surrogacy, the embryo is not transferred back to the prospective mother’s uterus, but to the gestational carrier.

    In both classical IVF and surrogacy, the eggs used can be from the intended mother (IVF with own eggs) or from an egg donor (IVF with donor eggs). By no means are the eggs of the gestational carrier in surrogacy arrangements, due to the number of ethical issues involved.

    Surrogacy is a last-resort option to become parents, only recommended when IVF with own eggs and IVF with donor eggs have failed. It is indicated when the woman cannot get pregnant due to a disease that prevents pregnancy, or because it is impossible for her to carry a pregnancy to term, including repeated IVF implantation failure.

    Keeping all this in mind, now my question is: Have you already visited a fertility specialist? Depending on the female infertility problem you have, one treatment or another will be more adequate for you. Could you give me more details about the reason or reasons why you can’t have your own children so that I can give you further instructions and recommendations on what to do?

    I hope I have been able to help,

    Best wishes

    11/29/2017 at 3:33 pm
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  3. I’ve gone through your post and can’t stop myself in sharing my opinion. Both are the options still you can avail, but at this age its risky to get in to pregnancy through IVF. I sincerely recommend you for surrogacy. I am not personally gone through this procedure myself but one of my very close one experienced it. They were hopeless when the couple come to know getting pregnancy with the health issues so decided for third party reproduction. They went to Europe for the procedure and now expecting their baby in upcoming weeks. It’s the highness of the surrogate mother who is willing to offer herself for accomplishing their desire. My sincere suggestion is to go for surrogacy and have a happy family.

    03/20/2018 at 8:27 pm
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  4. Hey there amily. I hope you are in the best of your health. There is nothing harmful in considering your options when you can not conceive naturally. Most people consider IVF the first choice. The reason is that you get the chance to carry your own child. Others prefer going for surrogacy due to several reasons. It can be because the mother cannot carry the child. Another reason could be that the IVF came out negative.On the other hand, surrogacy is a more reliable procedure. The man’s sperm or the mother’s eggs can be donated to the surrogate mother. It ensures the greater possibility to have a child because the surrogate mothers chosen are fertile. I am a supporter of surrogacy because I got my child via surrogacy too. Also, you mentioned that you are 40. I would recommend you ask your doctor if there are high chances of you to conceive via IVF or not. Because if you can not carry the child then it is better to go for surrogacy.

    03/22/2018 at 7:01 pm
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  5. Well, Emily! the selection in among IVF and surrogacy can be made on basis of circumstances.The procedures you are talking about are both of ART(assisted reproductive technologies ). But these are a quite different process and are carried out based on appropriate conditions and circumstances.
    In IVF the eggs are fertilized outside women’s body while in surrogacy other women agree to carry a baby for intended parents or couple. So basically the couple who don’t find any alternative to conceive or are unable to conceive prefer surrogacy.
    You must consult your doctor for this selection.He/she might help you out better. Or consult appropriate fertility clinics.get your test done like ultrasounds and all. And jump to any conclusion.
    Till then stay happy .stay healthy.

    03/22/2018 at 7:12 pm
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  6. Hey Emily, I have heard so much of the IVF and surrogacy success stories. I have seen people having couples having kids at the age of 42 via IVF. Even if the IVF cycle fails, you have surrogacy as your last resort. Gestational surrogacy allows to you have a child genetically related to you. However, you must bear in mind that the success rate depends on several factors. Nothing is determined or fixed. Therefore, the outcome varies from couple to couple. Nevertheless, gestational surrogacy allows infertile to have a child without having to carry it. Surrogate mothers carry the child for you. But, if you are pursuing surrogacy, you must consider few things. The surrogacy process costs a fortune in some countries but in other parts of the world. You must choose a surrogate who is healthy, and tested by the respective healthcare organization.

    03/23/2018 at 7:38 pm
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    • Dear kathyg,

      Surrogacy is an option when a woman cannot carry a child until birth, that is, she is unable to bear a pregnancy. But a women on her 40s or older who is perfectly capable of carrying a pregnancy would use donor eggs and bear the pregnancy herself before using a surrogate. Surrogacy can be used as a last resort, not as an option when a woman is 42 or older. One should not confuse it.

      Read more: What Is Surrogacy & How Does It Work? – Everything You Should Know.

      I hope this comment has helped to clarify a few points,

      Best wishes

      03/26/2018 at 9:29 am
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    • Every option has its pros and cons. When we first applie for ivf we were told of the following. IVF is a costly procedure and can take up a lot of your personal time. It can also be stressful and mentally draining. Stress and anxiety can become big risks during the IVF process. There are several medical risks when you use IVF, including: Multiple births. If you become pregnant with multiple babies, you may have a higher risk of early labor. A premature delivery and a low birth weight. Ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome. One may experience symptoms like abdominal pain, bloating, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. A miscarriage. Complications during the egg-retrieval procedure. An ectopic pregnancy. Dr is the one to evaluate the best chances for every other case.

      07/24/2018 at 2:20 pm
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  7. Hi. To be honest, I think IVF and surrogacy are both equally good choices. I have had surrogacy because IVF was not an option for me. I had not passed the requirements for IVF. As a brief intro, I have hereditary endo which has resulted in infertility for me. Endo alone is not the cause, but I had a hysterectomy so I can’t conceive at all. Anyway, if you pass the requirements, then IVF is a good choice but doesn’t guarantee anything. So if surrogacy is legal in your country, it is a much better choice at least in my opinion.

    03/25/2018 at 7:10 pm
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  8. Hi, ladies! We’ve been treated by a European clinic this time. Have no regrets so far. We’re using donor eggs as my own eggs are useless. I’m 39 yrs old with extremelly low amh. DR gave us less than 3% of conceiving with oe, so we didn’t want to waste more time on trying with them. Though the decision was not easy at all. I’m sure noone would love other women involved into your journey. So I’m pointing at that we do all we can to seek batter options for our cases. Well, if it’s ivf and you’re lucky to have own eggs and sperm and successfully complete the procedure – then it’s superb. In the case like others we have super healthy sperm but useless eggs – we go straight to egg donation. Still I have some hope to experience pregnancy myself, which I think is also great. A similar thing when using donor sperm – you can still carry your baby. Surrogacy is the last option to count on for me. I’ll be honest saying we’ve already done some of the researches on the point. And made the decision if it happens to be our path we’ll head off to Ukraine. But I hope this all is far ahead, if it’s ever. I’d suggest not to make haste decisions with the treatment choice. Unless you’re healthy and strong and proved you can bear pregnancy – go for ivf first. Wish you all the best of luck and support!

    05/29/2018 at 2:43 pm
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  9. Hi. To be honest, Every option has its pros and cons. But IVF is the best to conceive a child.

    07/28/2018 at 9:45 am
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  10. Surrogacy has lots of demands. There must be some indications for going for opting it. I’ve already shared on the other thread. For example, a woman had a hysterectomy that removed her uterus. Or she has uterus which cannot carry a pregnancy. Or conditions that make pregnancy impossible or risky for you, such as severe heart disease. Or multiple ivf failures. This is not that easy to come to a place and say “we want surrogacy”. Too many facts underlying here.
    Then you should consider the fact whether surrogacy is well regulated in your country. If not it may take time to find the right destination. As surrogacy law differs much within countries. For ex., in the UK the surrogate is considered to be the legal mother of the baby. Even if it has both of your bfp – SHE is the mother. In the USA in some states surrogacy is banned. In others it’s allowed for married heterosexual couples. Yet in others they don’t care if it’s a hetero or homosexual couple. Some allow it for singles. Others give the surrogate all rights for the baby. Then you have to go to court to adopt your baby.
    If it turns out you’ll look onto surrogacy and that you’ll “suit” for it, then I’d better advise you looking onto Eastern European countries. Ukraine has recently become quite popular as a surrogacy destination. Anyway, please be attentive with all the options on your list. Wishing you the best of luck.

    08/15/2018 at 1:54 pm
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