Maternity and egg donor babies

  1. avatar
    Anonymous

    Hello, I’m in the process of becoming pregnant using donor eggs but my husband and I are going through a lot because I can’t help but feel that the baby is not going to be mine to some extent. It’s like if we were going to adopt, I think I’ll feel the same. I will take care, but that bond women usually create with their son or daughter won’t exist, it’s very unlikely. I don’t think maternity is going to be easy, especially at the beginning. Maybe with the years I end up feeling as much love as any other mother, but at the beginning… It’s kinda difficult. My husband is more optimistic and believes this feelings will disappear as soon as I see our baby’s face… But how could this be possible, if his or her face won’t even resemble me, the birth mom? I chose an anonymous donor because if I see her face I’ll know my baby has a REAL mother, and that would make it much worse… To be honest I’m devastated and don’t want this pregnancy to continue, I’m doing it to please my husband.

    July 9, 2017 at 5:11 pm
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  2. avatar
    Sandra F.
    Fertility counselor

    Hello,

    Having feelings of regret prior to giving birth is normal among egg donor recipients. The good news is that your husband is right: you’ll see how they disappear as soon as you become a mother. Keep in mind that having a baby, whether naturally or via assisted conception, is not only about genetics, but about loving and taking care of that little person. In short, you are the parents of the child’s existence, so there is no reason for you to feel as if you weren’t the actual mother of the child.

    I hope this helps,

    Best wishes

    July 10, 2017 at 2:22 pm
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