Not sure if I should choose a known egg donor… Things to keep in mind?

  1.  Birth Issues WOman

    Hello, I am currently living in Palm Beach, Miami, FL and have been diagnosed with premature ovarian failure… I know I need to use donor eggs, but I think I have a preference for a known egg donor rather than an anonymous or semi-known one, because my sister is 8 years younger than me and would like to help me have a baby. Besides, we have similar physical trait, so ideally she would become my donor. The thing is, I’ve a problem or at least see a little inconvenience here because I think once the baby is born, she may feel he or she is hers as well. I know her and she’s always been kinda possessive, so I’m not quite sure. Can you tell me which pros do you see in this? Or if I should continue with this?

    January 27, 2016 at 9:31 am
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  2. Sandra F. Sandra F.
    Fertility counselor

    Hello,

    The fears you are experiencing currently are totally common and should be erased before getting started with egg donation. Thus, you should talk to your sister carefully and reach an agreement with legal assistance in order to guarantee that no problem will arise once the baby is born. Even though this is a very personal issue, the following things to think about could help you both.

    Firstly, it is okay that you’ve decided to choose your sister as your egg donor, but have you ever thought about how will that change your relationship? If, as you said, that may become a problem in the future? Are you worried that your child gets too close to her? Will that make you feel threatened? If the answer to all these questions is yes, you may reconsider choosing your sister as your egg donor, regardless of how close your relationship is now.

    Does your sister have children of her own? Which impact do you think this may have in the future? How egg donation may impact your child is an aspect that should be considered before making up your mind. On the other hand, if you and/or her have a husband or partner, seeking his opinion is advisable too. Furthermore, is she aware and understands the potential risks associated with the process? She may be willing to help you, but she must be aware of all its potential consequences.

    Apart from all that, even though you chose your sister, she would have to undergo a thorough medical, genetic, and psychological screening. In case she didn’t pass it, she wouldn’t be allowed to hand her eggs over, even if they are for you. For these reasons, it is valuable, and often required, that you and your prospective donor meet together with a legal counselor along with your spouses.

    I hope I have clarified all your concerns,

    Best wishes

    February 1, 2016 at 6:09 pm
    Reply
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