Hi, we are a married couple from Cape Town, in South Africa, but travel very often to the US so we are looking for a surrogate mother there. We are thinking of many characteristics that would describe the ideal profile of our surrogate, but for example she being a postgraduate will make all the difference. Anyhow, we know there are some “fundamental” rules that one should follow when going for this fertility treatment, so what’s your opinion? What are the dos and don’ts?02/15/2016 at 8:31 am
thanks for getting involved. Well, the truth is, the general profile of surrogate women corresponds to caring, responsible, family-oriented, generous women. All in all, they do this because they wish to give others the gift of family. Besides, they are conscientious women who truly wish to participate in the process of surrogacy.
Be it as it may, you should keep in mind the surrogate’s general state of health, pregnancy history and lifestyle above all. Apart from that, common aspects that every intended parents should take into account when choosing their gestational carrier are:
– Diet: How willing the prospective surrogate is to follow certain guidelines as to what she should eat and what not is a crucial aspect. Remember that the diet a woman follows during pregnancy may have an impact on the unborn child’s health.
– Interaction: While some intended parents have a preference for being fully involved in their surrogate’s life during and after pregnancy via phone calls, Skype, appointments, etc., others do not feel this need to stay in contact that much with their surrogate.
– Invasive procedures: Is your surrogate comfortable with surgery and other invasive procedures that may become necessary throughout the pregnancy, such as amniocentesis?
– Pregnancy termination or reduction: Multifetal pregnancy reduction (MFPR) is a procedure used to reduce the number of fetuses in cases of multiple births. On the other hand, pregnancy termination or embryonic arrest is another aspect to keep in mind before signing the contract. Do you and the surrogate agree on what to do if any of these issues arose?
– If she is single: In case your surrogate is not married, another aspect to take into consideration is whether she is planning to date someone while she is carrying your baby.
– Husband’s or partner’s opinion: Conversely to the previous aspect, in case the surrogate is married or in a relationship, the opinion of her partner must be fully taken into account in order to prevent the occurrence of any problem related to paternity rights, for instance.
– Responsiveness: During the entire process, surrogates are sent various requests from the agency/clinic. In this sense, my advice is that you look for a responsible woman; otherwise, she may not be committed to follow the schedule.
– Support system: By “support system” I mean whether she can count on the support of her close relatives, husband/partner, friends, etc. It is essential to evaluate what will be the support system the surrogate will have during the surrogacy process—is she going to be supported by a partner, a parent, a roommate…?
Of course, intended parents may look for different characteristics in a surrogate, according to your special requirements, situation, geographic location, etc. You can always share your ideas and/or concerns with your agency or clinic in order to select that surrogate that best fits your needs 🙂
I hope I have been able to help,
Regards02/25/2016 at 11:04 am
hey dear, i am so happy to see you looking into this matter with full determination even after being through all the tensions and all. To you, it is advisable to get to a clinic to look for a surrogate mother for you.See looking yourself is hectic and many clinics offer their own volunteers and you have complete choice of choosing the best one among them of your favorable traits.The clinics are really helping in such matters and make sure that the client is 100% satisfied after that the trials come.These sound tiring and the wait is never stress free but you when you win some you lose some You must look for the healthiest possible choice, after all, she is to bear your child for you.you don’t want any complications in your way.Health of the surro mom should be your first and foremost priority.Look for the best clinics first.As many are imposters and do not fulfill the requirements.Good luck!02/08/2018 at 4:42 pm
Great post, many would benefit and some would share their experience. However, to me for an ideal surrogate has to be family oriented, educated, her diet as it will have an effect on the child. Has she planned to date while pregnant with your child? What his husband thinks or has allowed her to be a surrogate mother. I think this is so much to handle on your own, I would suggest you choose organizations who are offering surrogacy programs. They have professional surrogate mothers; they have been tested and monitored for successful pregnancy. You can interview them and choose whoever suits you. Moreover, you must be able to bear the expenses of the surrogate mother, as she would be carrying your child for you. Explore your options.03/23/2018 at 7:41 pm
So what makes the ideal surrogate in my opinion at least. No bad habits. Healthy lifestyle. It’s important to know whether the surrogate is mentally prepared for the giving up the baby if time comes. Whether she’ll be under supervision and will take good care of both. She must be the one with perfect health. No harmful diseases as this is HER blood running through your baby. Every part must know well its role in the process. This is the only way to success.08/15/2018 at 2:56 pm
Surrogacy requires someone who enjoys being pregnant. A woman who has a positive attitude about the amazing gift they can offer to help another couple start a family.
Below is a list of practical requirements for the surrogate:
She should be between the ages of 20-40 years of age.
Ideally, she should have carried at least one successful pregnancy to term. With no serious pregnancy/delivery/post partum complications. She should have a BMI of no higher than 30.
She will need a blood test to show she is clean of any infections, especially HIV or Hepatitis. A pelvic exam is also a smart idea.
She should not have any contraceptive implants.
Obviously she should not smoke cigarettes or drink heavily.
She should not currently be on antidepressants.
It also helps if she has a family and friends who are available to provide emotional and physical support.
The clinic always gets the surrogates screened. And to qualify as a surrogate, the candidate also should have the following blood tests performed on Day 2 or day 3 of her cycle. A routine USG of the Uterus and Abdomen is also often recommended to confirm the Uterus is regular shape / no cysts / no scaring and no abnormalities in the other organs in her body.
All those are the crusial points to look for (and more detailed though). Hope this helps.11/28/2018 at 10:36 am
As the title says “what should we look for in the surrogate?” – firstly, her being mentally ready to participate in the program. Surrogacy is a long and sometimes quite complicated route. The surro has to think twice before stepping in. as she has to take some time from her own family, from her own kids and dedicate this time to creating your family. She has to be emotionally ready to pass on the baby born. (Though she’s going to spend 9 months with him at heart). Secondly, you should make sure your clinic screens its surrogates the best. Meaning it screens not only the surrogates for all the potential diseases, but also their families to eliminate all the possible genetical risks whilst pregnancy. I suppose in the countries which allow surrogacy, the surros will need to have at least 1 kid of their own. or they’ve already completed their own families and then moved on with offering help to others. Anyway, those are just amazing people. I’m not sure I could ever do something like this. am just thankful the surros are doing for thousands of infertile couples yearly. Blessings on your way!!12/19/2018 at 11:54 am
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