What should we look for in a surrogate?

  1. avatar
    Claudia Richardson

    Hi, we are a married couple from Cape Town, in South Africa, but travel very often to the US so we are looking for a surrogate mother there. We are thinking of many characteristics that would describe the ideal profile of our surrogate, but for example she being a postgraduate will make all the difference. Anyhow, we know there are some “fundamental” rules that one should follow when going for this fertility treatment, so what’s your opinion? What are the dos and don’ts?

    02/15/2016 at 8:31 am
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  2. avatar
    Sandra F.
    Fertility Counselor

    Dear Claudia,

    thanks for getting involved. Well, the truth is, the general profile of surrogate women corresponds to caring, responsible, family-oriented, generous women. All in all, they do this because they wish to give others the gift of family. Besides, they are conscientious women who truly wish to participate in the process of surrogacy.

    Be it as it may, you should keep in mind the surrogate’s general state of health, pregnancy history and lifestyle above all. Apart from that, common aspects that every intended parents should take into account when choosing their gestational carrier are:

    – Diet: How willing the prospective surrogate is to follow certain guidelines as to what she should eat and what not is a crucial aspect. Remember that the diet a woman follows during pregnancy may have an impact on the unborn child’s health.
    – Interaction: While some intended parents have a preference for being fully involved in their surrogate’s life during and after pregnancy via phone calls, Skype, appointments, etc., others do not feel this need to stay in contact that much with their surrogate.
    – Invasive procedures: Is your surrogate comfortable with surgery and other invasive procedures that may become necessary throughout the pregnancy, such as amniocentesis?
    – Pregnancy termination or reduction: Multifetal pregnancy reduction (MFPR) is a procedure used to reduce the number of fetuses in cases of multiple births. On the other hand, pregnancy termination or embryonic arrest is another aspect to keep in mind before signing the contract. Do you and the surrogate agree on what to do if any of these issues arose?
    – If she is single: In case your surrogate is not married, another aspect to take into consideration is whether she is planning to date someone while she is carrying your baby.
    – Husband’s or partner’s opinion: Conversely to the previous aspect, in case the surrogate is married or in a relationship, the opinion of her partner must be fully taken into account in order to prevent the occurrence of any problem related to paternity rights, for instance.
    – Responsiveness: During the entire process, surrogates are sent various requests from the agency/clinic. In this sense, my advice is that you look for a responsible woman; otherwise, she may not be committed to follow the schedule.
    – Support system: By “support system” I mean whether she can count on the support of her close relatives, husband/partner, friends, etc. It is essential to evaluate what will be the support system the surrogate will have during the surrogacy process—is she going to be supported by a partner, a parent, a roommate…?

    Of course, intended parents may look for different characteristics in a surrogate, according to your special requirements, situation, geographic location, etc. You can always share your ideas and/or concerns with your agency or clinic in order to select that surrogate that best fits your needs 🙂

    I hope I have been able to help,

    Regards

    02/25/2016 at 11:04 am
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  3. avatar
    klair

    hey dear, i am so happy to see you looking into this matter with full determination even after being through all the tensions and all. To you, it is advisable to get to a clinic to look for a surrogate mother for you.See looking yourself is hectic and many clinics offer their own volunteers and you have complete choice of choosing the best one among them of your favorable traits.The clinics are really helping in such matters and make sure that the client is 100% satisfied after that the trials come.These sound tiring and the wait is never stress free but you when you win some you lose some You must look for the healthiest possible choice, after all, she is to bear your child for you.you don’t want any complications in your way.Health of the surro mom should be your first and foremost priority.Look for the best clinics first.As many are imposters and do not fulfill the requirements.Good luck!

    02/08/2018 at 4:42 pm
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  4. avatar
    kathyg

    Great post, many would benefit and some would share their experience. However, to me for an ideal surrogate has to be family oriented, educated, her diet as it will have an effect on the child. Has she planned to date while pregnant with your child? What his husband thinks or has allowed her to be a surrogate mother. I think this is so much to handle on your own, I would suggest you choose organizations who are offering surrogacy programs. They have professional surrogate mothers; they have been tested and monitored for successful pregnancy. You can interview them and choose whoever suits you. Moreover, you must be able to bear the expenses of the surrogate mother, as she would be carrying your child for you. Explore your options.

    03/23/2018 at 7:41 pm
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