Which names do kids of gay parents use to call their moms?

Hello,

we are a lesbian couple from Oakland and are so excited because we are going to have a lovely daughter soon! We are in a bundle of joy, but a question keeps in crossing my mind every day… what are the most common mom names for lesbian couples? We are concerned because suppose she says “Mom!”, which one of us is expected to answer? Me or my partner? We would like to get ideas so that she gets used eventually to call her “X” and me “Y”, or the other way about.

Please, share your story!!

Dear samantha&kelly,

First of all… Congratulations!! I’m so glad you are going to have a baby 🙂 I’m sure you will be very happy, regardless of how she calls you in the end.

Now, as for your question… Well, as you may know, this is a very personal thing, since each family develops a series of habits and the way they call one another is usually included within these series of habits. Some families even use nicknames or terms of endearment to call themselves, specially between parents and children.

However, many lesbian couples who are already on motherhood have announced the following possibilities and combinations:

• 1. Mama, mommy and/or mom. In some cases, kids get used to call one of their moms “mama” and the other one “mummy” or “mum”, or the other way about.
• 2. Mom + Mom. This may be the simplest way of all the given possibilities. Even though, as you said, it can be a little weird because you may not know who your kid is calling, in some cases kids develop a particular tone of voice when calling one “mom”, and a different tone when calling the other “mom”, for instance.
• 3. Mom + First name. There are cases in which the kids develop the habit to call one mom by her first name and the other one by hers, too.

There are also cases in the US where a lesbian couple chooses a known sperm donor, with the open donation arrangement, which means the donor-conceived child will be in contact with his/her donor when he/she turns 18. In such case, the kid can also use the forms Daddy and/or Papa to call the donor, although this is not so common.

I am sure other users can add some ideas to this thread 🙂

Regards