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How can I be supportive for someone who’s going through IVF treatment?

How can I be supportive for someone who’s going through IVF treatment?

  1. hanna

    Hello! My name is Hanna. I am here to help my sister. She is infertile. After long thinking and talking to the doctors she and her husband are decided to try with ivf treatment. I am every day with her and I see how hard it is for her to wait that this treatment starts. I believe that it would also be hard to get through all that checkups and tests. I want to help her but I don’t know how. How can you help someone who is in that situation? I don’t know much about that kind of treatment. I don’t know what can I say or do to make her feel better.

    11/30/2017 at 11:30 pm
  2. Hello Hanna! You are a very good sister. I believe she would be glad to have you around in this hard times. You can do much for her. She will need someone to talk to at every time. Maybe she will succeed to conceive after the first treatment. If not, she would not someone who will push her to try again. Sometimes we all need someone to be our wind in the wing. Let her know that she is not alone.

    12/01/2017 at 8:21 am
  3. Dear hanna,

    Well, there are many things you could do to help and support your sister—that’s very kind of you. First of all, perhaps she does not want to talk about what they’re going through, but it’s important for you to be by her side all the way and at least ask her how she’s doing from time to time. What I mean is that you should not ignore the topic even if she says she does not want to walk. She needs that support anyway.

    Secondly, if you really want to be supportive for her, learn about the IVF process, including the success rates, potential outcomes she may get, and be prepared for a negative result. Keep in mind that each IVF cycle is different, and your sister’s may have certain particular features you should about to be completely supportive for her. To learn about IVF in full detail, please visit this post: How Does In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) Work?

    Part of the learning process includes learning not to ask someone who’s on IVF about pregnancy almost every single day. Or don’t even do it. When she’s actually pregnant, she’ll tell you. It only adds pressure to a process that is itself stressful for the person going through it. Also, do not comment harshly about body changes you appreciate on her: It is common for women undergoing IVF to gain weight or to have frequent mood swings. These are side effects of fertility medications, and unfortunately there’s nothing they can do about it. Just try to understand her and help her feel better about it.

    In short, there are many things you can do to offer your helping hand to her. Be her companion during her visits to the fertility clinic if her husband is at her in the meanwhile, stay with her at night if she needs a girls’ night to talk and share her thoughts, and even seek professional care if you consider it necessary. Just listen to her—sometimes all IVF patients need to do is to just vent.

    I hope I have been able to help,

    Best wishes for you both

    12/01/2017 at 8:58 am
  4. Dear, Hanna. 2 years ago I had the same problem, now I have a son to him 1.9 months now. I tried to get pregnant more than 5 years and everything was unsuccessful, and now I have a beautiful son. I used the services of a surrogate mother and now I am very happy the most important thing is that I didn’t spend a lot of time for this process, everything turned out the first time.

    01/18/2018 at 2:39 pm
  5. I’m sorry for your sister. I know and thousands of infertilie like me know how tough ivf process could be. Especially when you’re using donor eggs/sperm or need a surrogate but here I may be mistaken, just judging from our previos tries. Here are some of the phrases which drove me crazy — people even weren’t aware of what they were saying and how much it could hurt:
    Just relax.
    It will happen.
    You may have one of my kids.
    It’s not the end of the world.
    Why not just adopt?
    Whose fault is it?
    You’ve got plenty of time.
    My friend tried 7..rounds ivf and then conceived naturally.
    I could never give myself shots.
    Doesn’t that cost a ton of money?
    Did you try it naturally?
    Maybe you’re just not meant to have kids.
    A kind person you’re. I hope you’ll find your very ways to support your sister.

    05/29/2018 at 2:13 pm