I need donor eggs but my husband does not take this decision lightly

Hello there,

This is my situation. My husband and I can’t conceive due to my eggs being no good after being detected POF (premature ovarian failure), so my ovarian reserve has run out of eggs… 8 years ago I froze some of my eggs, but now I found out they aren’t enough… I’ve tried to get pregnant with these eggs and my husband’s sperm, which is totally healthy, with no luck 🙁 I definitely want to have a baby by all means, so the only chance I’ve got is using donor eggs, but my husband does not approve this decision, so I don’t known what to do to make him see there’s no problem, that genetics is not too important, but he keeps on repeating that our baby-to-be won’t be half mine, half his, so there’s our fight, you know? Any recommendations out there?

TIA for your help!!

Xxx

Dear IVF_Sarah,

Facing the idea of using donor eggs is not easy. Who has never imagined how his/her baby would be? If the baby-to-be will look like the father, the mother or both, or if his/her nose or mouth would look like yours… Everybody has daydreamed about it at some point in their lives. Nonetheless, I’m afraid having a baby means far more than finding similarities and differences between parents and offspring: upbringing, responsibility, education… These conceptos are way more important than physical appearance, regardless of the face shape, skin color or hair style. The problems is, not everyone sees this point as I am describing it here, and that’s why coping with the need of donor eggs becomes so difficult for some couples.

And that is also the reason why many people needs psychological support in addition to fertility treatments to go through this alternative journey to parenthood. The good news is that many fertility clinics count on a psychological area where everyone needing emotional support will get it to give you the strength you need to have a baby.

Be it as it may, before starting any donor-egg IVF cycle, my recommendation is that you both reach a decision; otherwise, problems and nuisances may arise and make the journey to parenthood a difficult one. If both of you are determined and sure that you want to get started, and you both are aware of the possible risks and side effects of this decision, then go on.

Hope I have clarified all your doubts.

Best wishes