Hello ladies! I am Derina. My story is a brief yet complicated one. I am a 39 year old childless woman on the brinks of giving up on having a baby of my own. I have been married for 5 years now and within this period I have tried a lot of medications. This has not proven to work out fine as I still remain childless. It is not like it is a big problem for me; I could simply adopt. However, I just feel I need to have a child of my own like every other normal woman. The feeling of not being able to have a child can be very disturbing. My husband has undergone several tests to know if the fault is his but all of them show he is alright. This means I am at fault here and I need to take care of the situation in any way I can. Now I have been to a number of clinics, attended a few seminars and all the information I gather is centered at IVF. That’s what every fertility seminars seem to be recommending or talking about. I don’t really know if I give it a try or just adopt. What would you do if faced with same situation? Please I need advice.06/27/2017 at 7:26 pm
Have you already undergone a fertility test for you? It is important for both partners to go through fertility tests in order for the cause of infertility to be identified. A hormonal analysis can help us see your ovarian reserve and check if it is okay or not. It also allows us to see whether there exists a blockage in the Fallopian tubes. In case you are diagnosed with a fertility problem, the next step is to visit a fertility specialist to see what might be the most adequate fertility treatment for you. Egg donation might be a last-resort option if the quality of your eggs is too low.
As for choosing adoption over fertility treatment or vice versa, it is a very personal decision to make. You still have a chance to become a mother using your own eggs, so my advice is that you are patient are wait for the results of the fertility test.
The following articles might be of interest:
I hope that helps,
Best wishes!06/28/2017 at 9:22 am
Do not worry. We are all with you here. You can share your feelings. As suggested by Sandra F, here it all depends on you and your husband whether to adopt or take up IVF. Both will bring joy to you as parents. But in adoption, you will not be able to go through all those moments of pregnancy and the labour of child birth. This is exactly what makes a woman complete. So what I would suggest is that you can take up the IVF treatment. Choose a clinic which has egg donor’s bank so that you can choose the eggs for yourself. Do not be in a hurry to take a decision. Wish you all the best for you for a chubby baby.07/21/2017 at 5:47 am
Derina, this is indeed a tough time. At age of 35 women, tend to suffer from low ovarian reserve. It is advised that you must see a fertility doctor. You will have to undergo several screenings to determine the cause of infertility. It is also important to ask your OH to undergo fertility tests too. Because, male infertility is a rare issue discussed or considered when it comes to infertility. So convince him to start the tests with you. It is important to undergo nay fertility treatment. Do not be sad, or think of giving up. Have courage and get inspiration from people who have obtained parenthood despite of every major infertility defect. As for IVF, the success rate varies and the key factor is age, though you have to go for few cycles if the first one fails. Other assisted reproductive techniques out there. Search for those and decide you next step. I am low ovarian reserve and my last resort is to go for gestational surrogacy, it would allow me to have my own genetic child without having to carry it. I am not looking for adoption right now. Wish you luck03/23/2018 at 8:51 am
Hey! I would suggest here firstly, going for the fertility test.
Till the Time things remain unclear. Nothing can be done. And going for any solution blindfolded is not an efficient move.
You must go for your fertility test as much as you can. Unexplained infertility is quite a different scenario.
This would also be known if you would go for a fertility test. Your doctor might want to talk both of you about medical history and will do some examinations
The examinations might include a blood test, there might be a problem with your fallopian tube this procedure is actually called HSG(Hysterosalpingogram) I know that’s difficult to read and pronounce but not after you are done with it.
Not to forget, some sort of ultrasounds can help you to know the actual reason for infertility.
In most of the cases, even more than one infertility cause is observed due to such infertility test. If there is no such reveal abnormalities observe that this is unexplained infertility.
After you are done with all this. Then I would suggest you, go for IVF.
Good wishes and Hugs.XXX03/24/2018 at 4:03 pm
Adopting a child or going for IVF or surrogacy is totally your decision. As you said you want to have a baby of your own. I would say go for IVF or surrogacy. If you think you do not need that then you can opt for adoption. The thing is you are lucky that one of you is completely fine. This means a 50% chance of having a part in your baby. Your husband can donate the sperm and be a part of the baby. This can be done by going for gestational surrogacy. The baby will have your husband’s sperm and a donor’s eggs. The seminars and everything you attended was all right to guide you through these treatments. You can enjoy being a mother conveniently by these treatments. Find a clinic near you. If the ones near your place are expensive then go to overseas clinics. Wish you all the very best and do ping me if you need any more help.03/24/2018 at 5:09 pm
Don’t get disheartened and stay positive, infertility is faced by many couples you are not the one. I would suggest firstly visit fertility centre and know the real cause of infertility. there are many reasons for infertility like hormonal imbalance, endometriosis, blocked Fallopian tubes, etc. or even stress/depression can affect your fertility. As age increases, there is a high probability of becoming infertile. Infertility is not the only concern of a woman, even male infertility exists, kindly you both consult and do the thorough fertility checkups.
There are many treatments for infertility one of them is IVF and surrogacy. Adopting is also good option, but i will suggest first give a positive try for IVF treatment. I feel it will work or even you can try surrogacy.05/21/2018 at 2:09 pm
I’m 39 yo too. Am already through 2 ivf cycles with own eggs. Both cycles unfortunately didn’t make magic for me. I guess I lost everything –my unborn beans, my husband. I’m sure this rollercoaster influences the relationship negatively. Of course I did several tries to change things for better but obviously failed. My ex had a low sperm quality so got this fault absolutely his, though my right ovary never responded to treatments as well. It still hurts to take those notes out from the past as then they all were knocking me out of normal life. Now I’m still childless but with a new dh. We planned to continue this infertility trip. Dh is super ok, the problem’s in me. AMH results came in extremelly low. Our new dr at overseas clinic told us we have somewhat of 3% chance verdict with own egg. She strongly recommended to go straight to donor egg as the best solution in our case so we did. We’re undergoing DE ivf treatment now & waiting for miracle. All in all, for some ivf is successful from the 1st round. For others like me more shots are needed — noone knows the exact number. But I believe it works and will definitely work for us too. Wishing you all the best of luck with further steps.05/29/2018 at 12:39 pm
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