Prince not so charming and choosing to be a single mom

Hello everyone,

I’d like to share here my story with all single moms visiting this forum, because I think single mom stories may help many women by sharing encouraging words for single moms. Well, you see, firstly I’m 32 and I work as a preschool teacher in Binghamton, NYC. Last month my ex boyfriend and I ended our 8-year relationship, and as you can see there’s no easy break-up after 8 years, so I can say I’ve been through a lot lately, I felt I was done, but now I’m getting over it more or less. The reason why we broke up is that I wanted to have a baby, while he didn’t. It’s almost as if he left as soon as I told him I was thinking of getting pregnant, but it was me who finally took one step ahead and told him I just wanted to say goodbye, that he couldn’t fulfill my wishes…

I actually don’t think there’s a single man across the earth planet who could accomplish my wishes, at least by the moment, so I’ve decided to start the journey of being a single mom by choice. I think of myself as a strong woman, ready to embrace anything the future holds for me. Besides, I’ve been diagnosed with early menopause, so I’m sure I need donor eggs. The thing is, I may need financial help because I get a very low wage monthly, not enough to bring a baby up and live happily at the same time.

I want you to know that I find your support extremely helpful and your words are the spirit and life of those who read you. Your advice means a whole lot to me, and I’m sure many women reading this do agree with me. In fact, I’d like to hear your opinions; the more, the better. Maybe we can become friends!!! Make sure you share your thoughts, but do not forget to give me some help, too. I actually don’t know which options do I have to become a single mom, any ideas out there?

I look forward to your kind reply.

Love,

S. A.

Dear S. A.,

Thank you very much for sharing your story with us. I’m pretty sure it will be really uplifting for many women! Well, it’s great that you’ve overcome your past situation and have decided to achieve your dream of being a mother. As for your question “I actually don’t know which options do I have to become a single mom, any ideas out there?”, I am going to answer it by making a list:

• 1. Donor conception: In this case, you can choose between artificial insemination (AI) and in vitro fertilization (IVF). Given that you live in the US, you can choose between a known donor, a semi-known donor, or an anonymous donor, both in the cases of sperm donation and egg donation. As you are about to be a single mom, you need donor sperm, given the absence of a male partner. Besides, if you have been diagnosed with premature ovarian failure (POF), surely you need donor eggs, in which case artificial insemination would be ruled out, as follicular puncture and subsequent embryo transfer are required. This means the most advisable technique for you is double-donor IVF. Here you can find detailed info about this treatment: Double-donor IVF in the USA.
• 2. Embryo donation: it stands for the adoption of donated embryos. Such embryos have been previously donated by a couple who have already undergone an IVF treatment, but had some leftover embryos by the end of the treatment. If you are interested in embryo donation and adoption, this article may be of interest: Embryo donation in the USA.
• 3. Adoption: if you prefer not to get involved in fertility treatments, adoption is another option for single women. You can do it independently or through agency, and can be open —you and the child remain in touch with the biological parents— or closed. Besides, it can happen in the US or abroad, it’s up to you. Another advantage of adoption is that you can choose to adopt a newborn or a child, with or without special needs.

You can visit the organization Single Mothers by Choice to talk with other women who have been through this process too.

As for getting financial help from the government, the US government has created thousands of federal and state programs to help women in your situation. I recommend you to visit the following website: Single Mother Help.

Best wishes