Unforeseen social complications of directed donor insemination

Hey! This is Mariah, I am from Connecticut and wish to have a baby, but my husband cannot give me one and I can’t wait any longer because I’m already 35 years old…

So we are going to have a baby now via third party reproduction, that’s settled! The thing is, I want the baby to be “fully” mine and for this reason my partner’s sibling has offered as my sperm donor. I find it fantastic, isn’t it? We will be preserving blood lineages anyway! The problem comes when I try to foresee the future, because whether I like it or not, I know my brother in law will develop some kind of bond with the child and that’s what I wouldn’t like to happen.

What’s your opinion?

Dear Rosie,

indeed, when we talk about “direct sperm donation”, we are referring to a known sperm donor, which could be a relative or a close friend, or even an acquaintance. Directed donor insemination is a good option for those couples concerned about the preservation of their genetic lineage.

Whoever you choose as your sperm donor, keep in mind that he will require a full panel of infectious disease screening and a 6-month quarantine period of frozen sperm in order to verify he’s free from HIV/AIDS (see Quarantine period for sperm donors).

The main advantages of choosing directed donor insemination are the following: the process will no doubt be cheaper and the donor is genetically familiar. In turn, these advantages may reduce the anxiety and stress related to the outcome, whatever it is.

As for the disadvantages, it is true that the donor may change his opinion in the future and wish to meet the donor-conceived child in person. But the good news is that you and the donor will be required to sign a contract in which he will state that he has no intention of having any parental right. Ask your fertility clinic about this and, if necessary, seek legal counseling.

I hope I have been able to help,

Regards