When and how to say you are pregnant, is it necessary to wait?

By (embryologist).
Last Update: 08/14/2024

It is very common to wonder when is the best time to announce a pregnancy and, once decided, what is the best way to do it. Moreover, it is not usual for the partner to find out at the same time as the family, nor for the family to find out at the same time as the friends. Therefore, when and how to communicate a pregnancy can become a headache for expectant parents.

Although there may be certain recommendations, this is a very personal decision to be made by the couple depending on what makes them feel most comfortable and weighing the advantages and disadvantages of doing it as soon as possible or once several weeks of pregnancy have passed.

When to say you are pregnant?

When a woman learns that she is pregnant, excitement and excitement often cause her to immediately tell her partner, if they were not both discovering the pregnancy test result together.

Among the most popular ways to tell your partner about your pregnancy is to surprise them with a baby object, organize a date for a romantic dinner to tell them the news or relate the event to something they like, such as changing the lyrics of their favorite song...

However, although there are couples who do not give it so much importance and simply decide to tell it when they have the chance, the moment when the happy news of the pregnancy is going to be transmitted to family and friends usually generates more doubts.

There are couples who decide to announce their pregnancy and share their happiness with their loved ones a few days after knowing the test result, while others prefer to wait until the end of the first trimester and pay attention to the "3-month rule"3-month rule". Both possibilities have advantages and disadvantages, so either option is valid if it is what makes the couple feel more comfortable.

Why wait 3 months to announce your pregnancy?

The reason some couples choose to keep the pregnancy a secret until the end of the first trimester of gestation is to be cautious, in case something goes wrong and the pregnancy does not go ahead.

Once the first 12 weeks of pregnancy have passed, the risk of miscarriage is reduced, allowing the couple to tell the news with greater security and peace of mind.

In addition, it will have already been performed (or may coincide) with the first trimester ultrasound for pregnancy monitoring, where they can confirm if everything is going well.

Advantages and disadvantages

This option can avoid giving explanations to family and friends if something goes wrong in the pregnancy and avoid telling several times something as hard as a gestational loss. However, this can also become a disadvantage, since the couple will have to go through this difficult time without support.

For this reason, some couples choose not to strictly adhere to this rule and break the news of the pregnancy before 3 months to close family and friends, those people who will be there to support if something goes wrong.

On the other hand, it will be very difficult to hide certain changes in the woman's habits, as well as the typical discomforts of the first trimester of pregnancy, such as nausea and vomiting, from such close people. In addition, they may be upset that they did not know about the pregnancy beforehand, as they may take it as a lack of confidence.

In any case, deciding when to announce a pregnancy and to whom is a couple's decision, in which many factors come into play depending on the particular situation.

What if the pregnancy is counted too early?

There are couples who cannot contain their excitement and communicate the pregnancy shortly after learning of it themselves. If it is what makes them feel most comfortable, it is a viable option, but the advantages and disadvantages must be considered.

Advantages

Announcing a pregnancy early, ignoring the "three-month rule" of waiting until the end of the first trimester, can have certain advantages:

  • Talking about the pregnancy, the illusions, as well as the fears and worries, helps to assimilate the changes that are about to come.
  • Get support if something goes wrong.
  • Find complicity in friends or relatives who are also pregnant or have recently had a baby.

In addition, by telling from the first weeks that you are pregnant, you will avoid the stress that can be generated by having to hide the change of habits and possible discomforts of the pregnant woman.

Disadvantages

Among the main disadvantages of the environment knowing about the pregnancy from the first weeks of gestation are:

  • If something goes wrong with the pregnancy, it can be painful to have to break the news to people who knew about the pregnancy. However, this can be an advantage if the woman finds being able to talk about it an outlet and seeks support from loved ones.
  • The woman may feel overwhelmed by questions, comments and becoming the center of attention too soon.
  • Unnecessary and even intrusive and uncomfortable advice may be received from the first few weeks.

However, the couple will communicate the pregnancy when they themselves feel it is appropriate and they feel more comfortable.

How to announce pregnancy to family and friends

Although social networks are increasingly used to announce a pregnancy, it is common for the people closest to you to find out beforehand and in a more personal way, generally taking advantage of a meeting or calling a meeting with any excuse to make the announcement.

Here the possibilities are multiple, from a spontaneous and direct announcement to the most elaborate and creative forms. The truth is that it will depend on the couple's way of being, their tastes, if they prefer something more discreet or something more original?

Classics include showing the ultrasound or a baby-related item and involving previous children (if any) or even pets. It is also very fashionable to prepare an original image or video to be sent to family and friends to make the announcement.

FAQs from users

When to tell your child that you are pregnant?

By Silvia Azaña Gutiérrez B.Sc., M.Sc. (embryologist).

If there are previous children, the moment to tell them that mom is pregnant and that a sibling is on the way may generate doubts.

It is convenient to tell them relatively early so that they can gradually assimilate everything that is coming. However, the 9-month wait can become very long for them and, in addition, if something goes wrong with the pregnancy, they will have to be given an explanation.

For this reason, many couples wait until the end of the first trimester to tell them, although this is a very personal decision.

The way to do it will depend on their age. Telling them stories of your own birth or visiting friends who have recently had a baby can help them understand, but it is difficult for them to appreciate all that the arrival of a sibling will mean, especially if it is the first child.

It can also be a good idea to involve them so that they feel involved and to buy and prepare with them the things for the baby's arrival, let them participate in the choice of the name...

When should I announce to the company that I am pregnant?

By Silvia Azaña Gutiérrez B.Sc., M.Sc. (embryologist).

There is no obligation to notify the company of the pregnancy and, therefore, there is no established deadline for this.

However, the attendance to the medical tests performed for pregnancy control is a right that pregnant women have and this must be duly justified, so it will be necessary to communicate the pregnancy to the company to be able to enjoy this right. In addition, communicating the pregnancy sufficiently in advance allows the company to have time to organize itself for the future sick leave of the worker.

Some women decide to give notice early, especially if they find it difficult to hide the typical discomforts of pregnancy. Others wait until the end of the first trimester, when the risk of miscarriage is reduced.

In any case, if the work performed may pose a risk to the pregnancy, it should be reported as soon as possible.

Ideally, this should be done in writing and with acknowledgment of receipt, to the human resources department, personnel department or to management. Likewise, it is important to bear in mind that a woman cannot be dismissed simply because she has become pregnant.

Suggested for you

If you are only a few weeks pregnant, you may have already experienced the nausea and vomiting so typical of the first trimester of pregnancy. You can get information on how to alleviate it here: Nausea and vomiting in pregnancy: what causes them and can they be relieved?

On the other hand, if you want to know more about how to eat well during pregnancy, we recommend you to visit this article: What to eat during pregnancy - How to have a healthy diet.

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References

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FAQs from users: 'When to tell your child that you are pregnant?' and 'When should I announce to the company that I am pregnant?'.

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Author

 Silvia Azaña Gutiérrez
Silvia Azaña Gutiérrez
B.Sc., M.Sc.
Embryologist
Graduate in Health Biology from the University of Alcalá and specialized in Clinical Genetics from the same university. Master in Assisted Reproduction by the University of Valencia in collaboration with IVI clinics. More information about Silvia Azaña Gutiérrez
License: 3435-CV

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